The Weather According to a Dead Bishop: Forty Days of Rain

Climate change deniers blame nature for everything. Heatwaves? Natural. Floods? Just weather being weather. Human emissions? Nothing to see there. Meanwhile, chemtrail believers take a different route entirely. For them, extreme weather is no accident but a masterstroke of global puppet masters, quietly spraying secret cocktails into the sky to bend the climate to their will.

Both groups share one thing: a healthy disdain for science and a touching faith in fantasy. One sees chaos and insists it is order. The other sees order and assumes a shadowy government made it so. Still, both are easier to follow than actual weather science, which is dull, complicated, and sadly lacking in sinister aircraft.

Perhaps it is simpler to put your trust in St. Swithin, since it is his day today, 15 July. According to English folklore, if it rains on St. Swithin’s Day, it will rain for 40 more. If dry, expect sun for the next 40. Utter nonsense, of course, but no less evidence-based than most climate conspiracy theories.

The tale dates back to the 9th century. Swithin, Bishop of Winchester, asked to be buried in the churchyard so the rain and public could reach him. When, years later, his body was moved inside the cathedral, a great storm struck. The timing was noted. A superstition was born. Because nothing says causation like medieval weather and grave politics.

Last Saturday, during one of the hottest weekends I can recall, the River Kent in Staveley tumbled calmly over the weir. Today it was raging, on a day when much of England is officially in drought¹“Four areas of England now in drought as heat threatens wildlife and crops.” The Guardian. 15 July 2025. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2025/jul/15/four-areas-of-england-now-in-drought-as-hot-weather-threatens-wildlife-and-crops?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other. Does St. Swithin‘s meteorological influence extend to the North of England?

In the end, whether one blames wild weather on invisible chem-trails or shrugs it off with, “It is just a natural cycle,” it amounts to the same thing: a refusal to accept evidence. Science denial dresses up in different costumes, but it always smells the same. St. Swithin might as well take a bow.

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  “Four areas of England now in drought as heat threatens wildlife and crops.” The Guardian. 15 July 2025. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2025/jul/15/four-areas-of-england-now-in-drought-as-hot-weather-threatens-wildlife-and-crops?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other